People, as with everything in life, come in all forms. While we may be blessed with wonderful family, friends, and loved ones, it’s just as likely that we’ll come across plenty of toxic people in our journey on this planet. Where most people are content to love one another, the toxic person always seems to be out to get ahead — most often, at the cost of everyone else’s health and well-being.
The problem is, these toxic people aren’t always so easy to spot. With years of practice, they know how to hide the side of themselves that they don’t want people to see, covering it up with tricks and wordplay so they may still be seen as a “good person”. What are the signs that someone you know might be using you for their own benefit, with no regard to your own well-being and potential?
1. Everything is your fault.
When you’re spending time around someone, developing a relationship, problems are going to occur — that’s just a part of life. However, the toxic person is never willing to accept the blame for their part in what might be going wrong between you! Where you may be well-meaning, giving constructive criticism so that the person might grow as a human being, the toxic person will likely respond with harsh, negative comments that deflect from their own perceived inadequacies.
2. They know you better than you do.
Control is the name of the game for toxic people — and what better way to control you than to convince you that they understand your thoughts and actions better than you do? Pretty soon, everything you say or do, they “already knew” was going to happen, robbing you of the potential for change that is your birthright. This is illogical, playing on your emotions and own sense of self-worth so that they might feel more in control.
3. Lots of words, and circular logic.
Faced with the idea that they may actually be losing ground, toxic people will change the conversation. Often resorting to long, nonsensical strings of words, they are attempting to divert your focus from the topic at hand. This is a favorite tactic of the narcissist, who will do anything to prevent you seeing through to their rotten core.
Named after a classic movie where the main character manipulated a woman by changing the level of lighting in the room with gas lamps, this tactic refers to habitually layering questions into a conversation until a person begins to question their own sanity. With this opening created, the toxic person will often begin to call your (justified) behavior “crazy”, labeling you as a potentially dangerous person. Of course, they’ll be the one with all the answers at the end of it.
As you’re navigating life, hold those who care for you close, and be aware that not everyone who says they have your best interests in mind is telling the truth.
This article inspired by another found here.