It’s easy to feel like you’re failing at life, doubly so in a social media driven world. Comparing ourselves against what others post on Instagram or Snapchat or Facebook may mean feeling like we aren’t enough, or that we aren’t meeting our goals, like our life is some sort of disappointment.
First: Remember that what others post on social media isn’t their real lives. It’s what they want you to think is their real life. Carefully curated content is not the same thing as (nor an accurate representation of) what their actual day-to-day life looks like.
So there’s no need to compare yourself to anyone else. Not ever. Just be you, and you’ll be alright.
And there are probably plenty of signs that you’re doing just fine, and succeeding at life far more than you realize. Check out these twenty below:
Less drama in your relationships
As we mature, we develop a better idea both of who we are and what we want in our lives. As a result, there’s far less drama in our relationships. Think of your high school relationships, then think of how you approach life now. See? Way less drama is a good sign you’re making something of your life.
Asking for help doesn’t scare you
Remember when you were a teen or even in your early twenties, and were convinced you had to do everything by yourself to prove yourself somehow? Learning to ask for help isn’t a weakness, though, but rather a strength, and as you’ve matured, you’ve learned that—another sign that you’re succeeding in life.
Accountability and standards
Bad behavior in others might have been something you could put up, but that’s not the case any longer; now you hold people accountable, including yourself, because you have higher standards and expectations of the people in your life. There’s no need to hang out with the people who steal your energy for themselves, and so you don’t any more, because you’ve learned from the past and now hold higher standards.
You embrace self-love
No, that’s not a masturbation reference. What I mean is this: You’ve learned to keep those things in your life that make you happy and a better version of yourself, and have ditched the things in your life that tended to drag you down. You know how to say no when it means saying yes to yourself.
You appreciate yourself in the mirror
Maybe this still isn’t as frequent as you’d like, but if you like what you see more often than you used to, that means you’re getting better at loving yourself for who you are. That’s a good thing!
You accept setbacks as opportunities to grow
Life isn’t always great; in fact, sometimes it can be downright awful. But you don’t let those setbacks break you. Instead, you see them as opportunities to learn about yourself, about others, about the world—and you grow from those opportunities.
You know who has your back
For most people, building a support system of trustworthy friends and allies is hard, especially because there are plenty of people who will only pretend to support you to get something for themselves. Learning to recognize those fake people who will betray you and to differentiate them from the people who will truly support you? That’s a huge life success.
You celebrate others’ successes
You know that life isn’t a zero-sum game. When others succeed, that’s a good thing—and you help celebrate their accomplishments. Besides, you know a rising tide lifts all boats.
You pursue your passions
You know you have talents and gifts to contribute, things that make you feel most alive, and you pursue opportunities to grow those talents and gifts to help make the world a better place.
You anticipate good things ahead
You have goals and dreams that you’re working toward, and things to look forward to, and you let this drive push you forward.
Empathy is important to you
You know that without compassion, empathy, and love, life is meaningless, and you spread that empathy in your daily life. That’s a certain sign of success.
Love is meant to be felt deeply
You take risks in your life when it comes to love. You’re willing to love deeply and fully, and you’re willing to let others love you as well. Rejection is awful, but you know that life is deepest and most meaningful when you’re willing to risk that rejection.
You won’t be a victim
Even when life goes awry, you refuse to let it lead you astray. You will not be a victim. Instead, you rise up, seize opportunities where you see them, and continue on.
You live your life for you
And that means not caring what other people happen to think about you or what you do. People-pleasing is an impossible game, anyway: You will never please everyone, and the standards with which most people are judged simply aren’t realistic. As a result, you don’t let those standards bother you: You do you, and stay true to who you know you are.
You choose optimism
There are plenty of opportunities in life to be pessimistic, but you routinely choose the bright side of things, and always learn from your disappointments.
You accept you cannot control everything
There are some things in life you simply cannot change. What you can change, however, is your view of those events. Rather than fret over things outside your control, you accept that you can only do what you can do, and focus on doing the best you can with the parts of life you can control, such as your actions, rather than focusing on what you cannot control, such as others’ actions.
You accept you can control your own actions
Rather than get bogged down, you take charge in the ways you can, by doing what you can to make the world a better place. You change the things you can, and accept those you cannot.
You make your own happiness
And ultimately, isn’t that the ultimate definition of success? Now matter what else happens in your life, if you can consistently choose your own happiness, you will be successful.
Even if you only see yourself in some of these things, that’s okay. The rest will come, with time, as long as you keep pushing yourself forward.
*This content was inspired by an amazing article that can be found here.