Female orgasms have been an alien concept for centuries and only now are we opening up the idea of how important it truly is. According to one study, only 50% of women ‘sometimes’ have orgasms, 20% have it occasionally and 5% have never experienced one. Only 25% of women have reported having consistent orgasms during sex.
There are several reasons why women eventually lose the ability to orgasm, or simply cannot. Some may attribute it to traumas they’ve experienced in the past — such as abuse or domestic violence — and others may have just not been dealt with in the right way.
Several women still have inhibitions and their mind is not fully open to the idea. When the mind is not open, the body will take far more time to be comfortable with it.
While female orgasms still remain a mystery to many, here are a few reasons why it may not be happening and how one can make it better.
Vaginas should not be used as a vessel
Mammals use sex primarily to procreate, but humans are one of the only species for whom sex is a pleasurable activity. And there is a difference between procreative sex and sex meant mainly for pleasure.
In procreative sex, the vagina is used as a vessel for the penis. And it is primarily focused on male orgasms in order to extract the sperm which will eventually impregnate the egg. However, the vagina is capable of much more and procreative sex limits its full potential.
With only this kind of sex, the vagina has to tighten its inner lining as it needs to prepare the muscles for the continuous pumping motion and protect itself at the same time. The vagina stays tense every time, trying to prevent anything from getting broken or damaged. This keeps her vagina on ‘high alert’, leaving very little room for pleasure.
In order to really awaken her pleasure sensors, the man must not remove his penis and stay in there to make the vagina get used to the sensation and relax. If it stays connected long enough, without ‘unplugging’, the vagina will familiarise itself with it and ease up and let herself have an orgasm.
Connection to her heart
We’ve often heard how sex with someone who we have an emotional bond with is far better than just a casual hookup. This cannot be truer, and her partner needs to quite literally connect with her heart in order to really make her feel pleasure.
A woman’s heart is her positive pole which gives energy and her vagina is the negative which receives. For the negative pole to be active, one must stimulate the positive. One can stimulate the positive pole by caressing the breasts and other erogenous zones of her liking.
Only when one forms a true connection with their partner, her positive pole is stimulated. Not only during sex but also through other small yet significant things like keeping the romance alive, being a supportive partner, a good father, and so on. Feeling loved will naturally increase the chances of feeling an orgasm
Women must not feel used
After years of treating women like they were obligated to pleasure men through marriage or other means, only now have we realized the importance of female orgasm. Only now are we truly seeing the difference between sexual intercourse and making love.
In order to make a woman reach peak climax, her partner not only needs to do the above-mentioned things but also needs to prevent her from feeling used. Used merely as a catalyst for the man to orgasm.
The world is slowly opening up to tantric methods of ‘non-ejaculatory sex’, where sex goes far beyond the procreative model and makes pleasure a priority. It explores what is beyond the base result of procreation and delves much deeper into pleasure and intimacy.