What Narcissists Look for in Their Victims
Narcissists know precisely who they’re looking for when it comes to choosing victims, and their coldness and lack of empathy enables them to victimize even the most positive human beings. When someone is self-centered, manipulative, and believes they are superior to everyone around them, they can become dangerous to anyone they interact with—especially if you fit their preferred profile. Please read the list below so you’ll know how to avoid becoming the target of a narcissist.
#1: They prefer smart people.
Narcissists tend to look for intelligent, insightful, talented, and professional people to victimize. For narcissists, it isn’t as enjoyable to victimize individuals who are easy or insignificant targets.
If you lack anything emotionally, a narcissist will do whatever they can to make you believe that they are what’s missing from your life, and that they are the only one who can make you feel whole again (or ever). Moreover, anyone who seems like they’re prone to becoming emotionally attached is apparent prey to narcissists.
#3: They prefer accountable people.
If a narcissist plays the game right, they will find someone who is so used to being accountable that they will eventually feel accountable for making the relationship work, or for making the narcissist themselves happy.
#4: They target dreamers.
Individuals who desire a fairy-tale lifestyle are usually easy prey for narcissists. They will keep track of specific gestures or phrases that these dreamers want to see and hear, and they will use them whenever their partner is about to end the relationship or seek help. This gives victims the illusion that they are getting what they want when really these actions and words are far from the norm.
#5: They desire the chase.
If someone is too easy for a narcissist to ensnare, then it won’t be satisfying to manipulate them. Even if you think your resistance is conveying the point that you want to be left alone, sick and twisted narcissists will often think this is a sign to up their efforts.
#6: They like partners with benefits.
Even though narcissists gain great enjoyment from victimizing people period, they prefer to target people who can make them happier or more successful in other ways aside from their primary goal. Don’t do anything to help a narcissist in any way (aside from calling a professional) in order to minimize the chances of them becoming fixated on you.
#7: They like popularity.
According to Shannon Thomas, therapist and author of Healing from Hidden Abuse, “Psychological abusers are attracted to what is going on within the person’s life that is shiny, glamorous, or exciting, or successful, or dynamic, or vibrant. That’s what is attracting, kind of like a moth to a light, these kind of psychological perpetrators, because they want to initially get something positive from that person.”
This means that a narcissist cannot be in a relationship with someone who will label them as a narcissist or articulate their narcissistic behavior. Make sure you always call narcissists and narcissistic behavior out to maximize the chances of narcissists leaving you alone.
#9: They prefer perfectionists.
If a human being generally believes that nothing they do is ever good enough, then a narcissist will know that there is a very good chance they will be able to manipulate them continually over the long run. Narcissists relish in pointing out faults in other people, so there will never be an end for partners who feel the need to please them 100%.
#10: They need someone who undervalues themselves.
If a person knows that they deserve to be with a genuine and worthwhile partner, then there is no way they will ever enter a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissists are fully aware of this, so they keep their eyes out for people who are positive and productive—but who never fully realize it.
#11: They desire “fixers.”
This means that narcissists target individuals who possess innate desires to help other human beings improve themselves and succeed in life. Narcissists will always make sure they have numerous things that need to be fixed in order to keep their partners in relationships long term.
#12: They need a trusting partner.
Narcissists know that if someone doesn’t trust them right away, they’re not very likely to trust them more in the future. This is part of the reason that narcissists look for trusting people to lure in and victimize. It’s positive to be a trusting person in general, but it’s imperative to keep your wits about you as well—especially when a narcissist might be around.