If you’ve been in a few romantic relationships before, you may be a little too familiar with the phrase, “I love you. I’m just not in love with you.” Whether you’re the person saying it or whether it’s being said to you, the person speaking usually doesn’t quite know what they mean, and the person being spoken to usually has even less of an idea of what these words really mean. With all of that being said, it’s difficult to argue that there is a distinction between loving someone and being in love with someone. Please continue reading to learn more of the specifics, and to better comprehend when you’re part of one of these distinct relationships in the future.
Unfortunately, the word love has become a bit of a cliché, and as a result, some human beings don’t fully appreciate how special it is to either love or be loved. Even if someone genuinely loves you in a non-romantic way, this is still something to feel positive about. Of course, it may be impossible to feel this way about the situation if you are in love with them and their love is different, but usually it’s possible to see the reality of the situation (or of what the situation was) in time. What’s more, when two human beings really are in love with each other, it’s even more of a Universal blessing than they usually acknowledge.
Although passion doesn’t always necessarily equate to sexual desire, it does normally equate to an extreme—and almost unquenchable—desire to be intimate more generally. In fact, the most intense form of passion can seem like it’s actually consuming you. However, the feelings can begin to become mixed when one person begins contemplating what life would be like if the loving romantic relationship ever ended.
If you know in your heart that you still love a person—even if you haven’t seen or spoken to them in years—and will always love them forever regardless of virtually any of their future words or actions, then your love really is existential. Of course, it makes you wonder how any human being could ever spend so much time away from another person they feel this way about.
Self-love is not being “in love.”
By the same token, if you feel as though your are “in love” with another person but it is clear that they are not in love with you—then it can’t be true or genuine romantic love. Of course, it’s usually worth it to continue spending time with the other person in order to see if your passionate feelings will soon be reciprocated, but once it becomes clear they never will be, then you can’t be in true love with the person.
All-out love is “in love.”
As alluded to, when you feel a love for another person that is undeniable, irresistible, and all-but-consuming—and when the other person feels this way toward you as well—then you’re officially in love. It’s also easy to spot true love because each partner will not only be talking about experiencing true love, but everyone will be able to witness them experiencing true love. More specifically, each partner will have similar goals (if for no other reason than because many of their goals will involve the other person), and they will do whatever is necessary in order to ensure the other person realizes their own ambitions, happiness, and success.
*This content was inspired by an amazing article that can be found here.